What If Your Menopause Symptoms Are Messages, Not Mistakes? The Hidden Meaning Behind Midlife Awakening. Episode 295

I share a heart-led view of menopause as a reckoning, moving beyond symptom-chasing to examine identity, relationships, beliefs and purpose. Data on divorce, alcohol, friendship shifts and workplace gaps frames a practical path toward quiet, clarity and aligned choices.

• redefining menopause as a deeper life audit
• divorce trends and midlife relational shifts
• alcohol as coping and the cost to well-being
• workplace and financial pressures in menopause
• journaling and solitude as daily diagnostics
• metaphorical meaning of common symptoms
• balancing bioidentical hormones with inner work
• releasing limiting beliefs and victim mindset
• pruning friendships and renegotiating boundaries
• practical first steps toward aligned living

Important links:

Join my Substack for my deep, insightful and original short essays to support your wellness:  https://sandykruse.substack.com/

Follow me on Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/sandyknutrition/?hl=en

Please share this with one of your menopausal friends.  And always remember when you rate, review, subscribe, you help to support my content and help me to keep going and bring these conversations to you each and every week.

Chapters

• 0:02 Show Intro And Mission
• 1:32 Solo Episode And Credentials
• 2:40 A Spiritual Lens On Menopause
• 4:06 The Poem And The Problem With Noise
• 5:20 Beyond Symptoms To Deeper Meaning
• 6:49 Relationships, Divorce, And Midlife Data
• 9:10 Alcohol, Friendships, And Social Pruning
• 10:53 Money, Work, And Support Gaps
• 12:07 A Call To Reexamine Everything
• 13:35 Healthspan Hype And Real Wisdom
• 15:04 Start Looking Within
• 16:28 Journal Prompts And Quiet Practices
• 18:12 Audit Habits, Alcohol, And Company
• 19:35 Redefining Friendship And Boundaries
• 21:04 Metaphorical Symptoms Explained
• 22:28 Hot Flashes, Dry Eyes, Joint Pain
• 24:01 Hormones Help But Don’t Hush All
• 25:05 Accountability Over Victimhood
• 26:22 Shedding, Light, And Letting Go
• 28:08 Limiting Beliefs And Guidance
• 29:33 Soul Leaves First, Body Follows
• 30:16 Summing Up The Midlife Reckoning
• 31:30 Practical First Steps And Support
• 32:47 Closing And Share Requests

Transcript

Sandy Kruse: 0:02

Hi everyone, it's me, Sandy Kruse of Sandy K Nutrition Health and Lifestyle Queen. For years now, I've been bringing to you conversations about wellness from incredible guests from all over the world. Discover a fresh take on healthy living for midlife and beyond. One that embraces balance and reason without letting only science dictate every aspect of our wellness. Join me and my guests as we explore ways that we can age gracefully with in-depth conversations about the thyroid, about hormones, and other alternative wellness options for you and your family. True Wellness nurtures a healthy body, mind, spirit, and soul. And we cover all of these essential aspects to help you live a balanced, joyful life. Be sure to follow my show, rate it, review it, and share it. Always remember, my friends, balanced living works. Hi everyone, welcome to Sandy K Nutrition Health and Lifestyle Queen. Today I have my solo episode, and I think this is a really important episode because it comes from a completely different perspective about menopause. And this is actually an article that I wrote in Substack. You can follow me there. Most of you who follow me know that I am a registered holistic nutritionist. I do have multiple certifications in endocrinology and hormones, peptides and aging. I am also a certified metabolic balance coach. I also had thyroid cancer at 41. And now I'm 55, going through menopause without a thyroid gland. And I think the discussion around that is not, it's the importance of the discussion around that is underestimated because there are many women who may have their thyroid gland, but it is not working properly. And that in and of itself can affect how you go through menopause and hormones and more. But this article, it's called The Great Uprooting: What No One Tells You About Menopause, Beyond Hormones, A Midlife Reckoning, and the Courage to Evolve. You can follow me on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, anywhere. It's Sandy Knutrition. And then my Substack is sandycruz.substack.com. And I like to write because I am actually an English literature graduate. So writing is really part of my passion. So I'm going to read this article to you because we hear so much information about menopause, but nobody really talks about the more spiritual aspect of this really major transition that women go through in their lives. Hey, allow me to begin. This might not be an easy time. There's rivers to cross and hills to climb. Some days we might fall apart, and some nights might feel cold and dark, but nobody wins afraid of losing. And the hard roads are the ones worth choosing. Someday we'll look back and smile and know it was worth every mile. This is from the song starting over by Chris Stapleton. Everyone is so busy listening to all the menopause experts speak about the benefits of bioidentical hormones and quieting all those menopausal symptoms to contribute to our longevity. Great. This is useful. But what about the deeper meaning behind those symptoms that we are so busy silencing? I've come to realize that the reason I've been living through what feels like the world's longest perimenopause is this to write this piece and in doing so help other women understand the much deeper metaphysical purpose of this transition. This isn't the medical story. We already know that. So what is the deeper meaning behind this powerful transition we call menopause? These are quotes. Wow, she's become such a miserable bitch. She must hate her life. She's become a complete lush, drinks heavily, is so wasted at every event. She's become a shut-in, goes nowhere, and sees no one. She's getting a divorce after 25 years of marriage. Her health in every way has crumbled. She was diagnosed with cancer. The hot flashes, vaginal dryness, and more have become my living hell. These are a few scenarios. Perhaps you recognize some. Maybe you don't remember any of them because you're too busy drinking and trying to forget these feelings from deep within your heart and your gut. Menopause is so much more than hot flashes, sleepless nights, dryness, and wrinkles. It is the fallout before the rebuild. If you choose to notice and see it for what it is, is my heart okay with all these changes? Menopause is about living from the heart and not the head. The peak divorce age, women tend to initiate divorce most often between 45 and 55, the core years of perimenopause and menopause. By the way, I will have the links to these uh research studies where I have where I found them, and um, that will be in the show notes. In the UK, over 60% of divorces in this age range were initiated by women. In the US, across all age groups, 69% of divorces are filed by women, often coinciding with midlife transitions. A survey of 1,000 menopausal women revealed that 70 to 73 percent believe menopause contributed to marital breakdown, triggering increased arguments or domestic conflict. Sixty-seven percent of these women reported that menopause raised the incidence of domestic disputes. Known as gray divorce, divorce among couples over 50 has doubled in recent decades in the US, comprising about one-third of current divorces. In Europe, when the wife is ill, the chance of divorce jumps by 60% compared to couples where both partners are healthy. And keep in mind, how many women do you know get diagnosed with an autoimmune condition, cancer, heart disease, any of these things around midlife? You probably know a few. Furthermore, one in eight regularly exceeded the recommended 14 units per week to cope with symptoms. So, I mean, I've I've recorded podcasts about sober living, I've recorded podcasts, and there's some people who say that no alcohol is safe. And 14 units, I will say, is much smaller than that giant glass of red wine or white wine that you're drinking. Just keep this in mind. Few studies record the exact percentage of friendships that permanently end due to menopause. Much evidence is qualitative or framed in terms of emotional distancing. However, we know up to one in three women report social withdrawal or reduced engagement. Two, hormonal shifts can drive stress, mood changes, and communication shifts, common precursors to friendship distancing or loss. Three, midlife also sees a general pruning of friendships. Menopause may amplify this. I haven't yet touched on financial difficulties at menopause. The cost of hormones can be astronomical. Then there's the simple fact that women at menopause are often not supported in the workforce. I have recorded a great episode all about women's health in the workforce. Ladies, there is a lot more going on, deeper than just hot flashes. But everyone is so busy breaking down the science and not going deeper. Menopause is a time when we are called to re-examine our lives from all angles, our relationships, our finances, our health, our habits, our friendships, and our boundaries. We can no longer live solely from our heads and must go deeper into our hearts and intuition to figure out how to balance and align with everything in our lives moving forward. Our symptoms, life challenges, and changes during this time are literally calling upon us to do this. This all sounds so hard, and the resulting data isn't exactly encouraging. It's hard, and most people don't even know where to begin. However, if your goal is to achieve health span beyond doing your bone building exercises and taking NMN, you may wish to pay attention to the metaphysical symptoms during this phase. Gosh, I'm growing a little tired of hearing advice from 30-year-olds who have a big following telling people to start taking NMN because they heard it from another health influencer. So I'll give you my step-by-step guide. That's a joke, by the way, because there is no specific guide. But what I can offer you is some insight and some wisdom on how to go deeper. Choose what resonates with you and your soul. Look within. So I learn and I alchemize, and then I share to help others. This is a significant, significant part of my purpose. Finding yours is really important at this age. I believe that many of the grim stats about women at menopause are because of the following. We cut off and cut out people because we're angry at our life, angry at who we've become, and with our circumstances. We numb ourselves and prefer to glide into old age without thinking, thinking deeply enough to assess our lives. We build, sorry, we busy ourselves with so much, like travel and fun and all these great things. They're all part of life, but we're so busy in our lives that we don't see our lives for what it truly is. We have a loss of identity and true deeper connections. We might experience no defined purpose except to say, I'm gonna retire at age 60. We have unresolved trauma and emotional numbing. We've accumulated negative and subconscious beliefs that are so vast that we don't even know that they're there, but they're running programs in our background constantly. You'll need to get quiet to begin. This isn't about uprooting everything in your life all at once and ending relationships with people who piss you off or going to the the the rainforest and taking ayahuasca either. It's about getting quiet enough for you to notice what doesn't work to support your peace, your health, your joy. What in your foundation has cracks that are widening? This stage in your life is where you'll notice them if you allow it. And you will get many signs. Start journaling the minute you wake up. People often say, I'm not a writer, no one is reading your work, so who cares? Is this just an excuse not to get quiet? Here, if you don't know what to write, write this one line every morning. What does my soul want me to know today? Start here. Let the words roll from your heart onto paper. Don't think about it too much. Just write using this one prompt, which has been my go-to prompt for many years now. When I don't know what to write, I still use it. Many of us busy our lives as a form of avoidance because looking at the truer, deeper issues may be too scary. Ever see those people who fill their time so much that when they are at home, all they can do is flop down on the couch from sheer exhaustion, no time for independent reflection, too tired to even be present in your own life. You do not need a buddy for a mindfulness session. You do not need a buddy for a nature walk. Could you do these things alone often enough to make it count? It's not about taking a girl's spiritual trip once a year. Ask yourself why you don't like to be alone if this is hard for you. Can't enjoy your partner without that bottle of wine to share between you? Can't participate in an event without alcohol? Every time you spend time with a particular group of friends, do you come home more depleted than energized? Do you feel worse or do these interactions contribute to joy in your life? What are the cold hard truths about your friendships? Do they take more than they give? Do they support you in your life or do they break down what you're trying to build for yourself for your future? This might be a big aha moment for you. Longevity alone doesn't make a friendship meaningful. Just because you've been in their lives for a long time doesn't mean that they need to stay as a vital part of your life. Now is the time to notice which relationships truly offer depth, love, enrichment, and support, and which do not. Ask yourself, will these friendships nourish the next phase of my life? I'm not referring to acquaintances, as it's fine to have many of these. I'm talking about the people invited into your most sacred space, your energetic circle. Analyze these closer relationships. Remember the saying? You are who you keep company with. There's truth to this. Do you have closer friendships that are giving you a feeling as if they don't support you? They probably don't if your intuition is attuned. But before you go and cut out this friendship, keep listening. Be sure that it's not your own limiting beliefs that are giving you this feeling. Let's now analyze the metaphorical symptoms of menopause that relate to the wide range of menopause symptoms everyone is talking about. Metaphorical symptoms are emotional, psychological, or physical symptoms that symbolically represent deeper unconscious conflicts, unmet needs, or unresolved trauma rather than just arising from straightforward biological causes. They're a concept that's often explored in psychosomatic medicine and holistic or spiritual healing approaches. Dry eyes at menopause. What is it that you're unwilling to see in your life? Left eye, what's happened in the past? Right eye, what's happening right now that's unclear that you may not be willing to see? Hot flashes, what inflammation is going on internally? What's causing heat and anger from deep within you? Joint pain. Where is the pain? Read Yvette Rose's Metaphysical Anatomy andor Julia Cannon's Soul Speak. I've recorded podcasts with both of these amazing women. You may be surprised to learn that these physical pains can be linked to emotional aspects of our lives. Go back to my podcast. I'll link them in the show notes, but you're gonna want to listen to these. Because these topics are so complex, you're gonna have to continue on your own with your own personal analysis. You'll love it if this stuff interests you. So I'm not saying not to use bioidentical hormones. I would be far worse off if I weren't on them. Everyone's experience is different, and there is enough research to show how much these hormones enhance longevity and help you live with these symptoms. However, remember that these symptoms serve as a purpose. So maybe quelling them to a point of complete silence may not serve you best. Find your balance here and do what makes sense for you. So I'm not saying run out and get a divorce. I'm not saying live alone in isolation with no friends or relationships. As we know, this doesn't support longevity, by the way, as per the blue zones and all the research out there. Pay attention and renegotiate necessary sacred contracts within our lives to support true peace and longevity beyond menopause. I'm not saying go and lay blame on everyone and everything in your life without taking accountability for your part in it all, for your own story. This takes a lot of self-reflection. It involves examining how your own negative self-beliefs may have contributed to your entire situation. It takes breaking some of those negative beliefs that you may have formed, which may cause unfavorable patterns in your life. If you want guidance here, I've recorded with Brenda Farrugia of So Brilliant Who Can Guide You. That will also be in the show notes her links. She's an incredible person. So, no, it's not all about them and how they're treating you. While this may be a wake-up call, this mode of thinking is more of a victim state. It is sometimes necessary to identify areas for self-improvement that you can work on to change within yourself, and everything else falls into its rightful place. And remember, any of these unfavorable situations serve as mirrors for you. It can be about imbalances in friendships and relationships, but how are you to identify these imbalances in an unbiased way unless you do some self-reflection? What are you personally calling into your life through your subconscious beliefs? This part is crucial to identify. Start working on yourself, peel off those negative belief patterns and see how much more light you let into your life. As my beautiful friend Brenda Ferrugia says, sometimes your light can irritate those who carry a lot of darkness within them. What tends to happen is either they come back around when they've done their own self-reflection, or they fall out of your life organically. You may repel those who are triggered by your light. And this is what I mean by they fall out of your life organically. So it's not about what you see on TikTok and boundaries and just cutting everyone out of your life. Although this can happen too. But when you begin working on yourself and your own negative beliefs, this often can happen just organically. I've had long-term friendships fall away from my life. I don't miss them. I doubt they don't miss, I doubt that they miss me. It doesn't really matter either way. The fall away was organic. And this shedding helps open up more space for me to hold more light. Remember, when you're hanging on to darker relationships, darker energy, things that don't serve you, it takes up space within you. All the things that are not compatible with your core vibration are doing their best to get away as far away from you as they possibly can. The only reason they may not be is because you're holding on to them and not letting them go. That's from Bashar. That was a quote. Purge anything that doesn't match my own lighter frequency. Let go and let in. We've heard this numerous times. Learning how to let go is the key here. I've had very, very hard times letting go at times. My personality is that I am there for the people in my life for the long haul, but this hasn't served me all too often. So here's the key. Every single time you feel a nudge that something is uncomfortable, realize that this comes from a belief within you that can be released. If you ignore it, you'll never understand it, let alone release it. The more you shed, the more light you bring in within you. And the harder your own vibration and sorry, the higher your own vibration and frequency become. Naturally, without force. The more that doesn't belong around you will naturally fall away as more space opens up for the things that belong to come in. This is a process, I tell you. I've been working on it for a while, and it's not an easy one. The unraveling can be very painful, and I felt that deeply within myself. But over time, I came to see just how much growth it was giving me. Brenda is someone who truly knows how to guide you through this transformation. We must follow our excitement and act on our highest joy, as this will open up a whole world for us as we age. However, if we have so many built-up negative beliefs bogging us down, we never feel the actual effects of acting on our highest joy. Ever since my daughter and I had cancer, I've been doing this. However, I've been carrying and collecting so many negative beliefs that I haven't felt the actual effects of this. I love the way Bashar describes this. It's not about magically raising your vibration to achieve and be who you want. Manifestation is not about waving a magic wand, it's about letting go all of that that doesn't serve you to allow you to be and to achieve. When you do the work on yourself, this allows things to fall away. Do you see the difference? Those things and people that align with you and your light and frequency will stay. You will sometimes trigger darkness within people as more light enters your being. Some of these people will fall away from your life as a result and create more light within you. Begin by researching how to clear limiting and negative beliefs within yourself. Try not to resist when you notice that certain people, actions, or situations no longer align with your energy or values. Remember, your lightness may trigger darkness or repel them. This is okay. I saw something the other day that resonated with me. So this didn't come for me. It was on TikTok from another podcaster by the name of Emilio Ortez. And it's really, really wise. Your soul always leaves a situation first. And it takes your body just a little longer to catch up. Before you physically make changes in your life, your soul has already checked out and it whispers to you, I don't belong here anymore. Often we may miss these signs and stay longer than necessary. The signs will keep getting louder and louder until your body must follow what your soul was trying to tell you all along. So let me tie this all in together to make it easier to understand what I'm saying. As an English literature graduate, I must summarize and tie everything together. All my important points have to come into an conclusion for you. So here we go. Menopause is a time to take stock and reflect on your life. It's when you can no longer hide and numb the things in your life that don't align. Well, you can, but if you truly want an enriched, peaceful, healthy life to contribute to your health span, hide And numbing won't serve you any longer. It'll be challenging to age well if you do. Many women do. My grandmother never ever drank alcohol until after menopause, and this might have contributed to her demise. The only way to start is to become quiet, sometimes uncomfortably so. Be alone, journal, walk every day in nature, work with someone like Brenda using tools to truly peel away those layers so you can let in more light. It's never about blame and shame, it's about peeling things off your essence to allow your brightness to shine. Brenda can help to dismantle all those limiting and subconscious negative beliefs formed throughout your life that are causing repeated patterns that no longer serve you as you move into a very special phase in your life. And I'm gonna tell you complete transparency. I am not an affiliate of Brenda's, and I'm not getting paid to speak about Brenda. She's been a guest on my podcast twice. She is going to be coming back again. And I have so much respect and honor for how much she can help others and how much she's helped me. So start here. I hope this article was helpful and offers a very unique perspective of menopause, something you haven't heard before. The purpose of my article and my podcast is to show you that you're not alone in how you feel and your feelings are very real. And go deeper to call you to do the work to forge ahead in what can be a very exciting phase of your life. Hiding, masking, numbing, it won't help you on your journey towards a healthy and peaceful life. So there you go, my friends. That's my article. And that's my podcast for this week. I hope it was helpful. I'm gonna ask you to please, please share this with one of your menopausal friends. And you know, I think it's important to find people who are like-minded who you can talk through it with when you are doing the work alone as well. So love and light. Be sure to share it with someone you know might benefit. And always remember when you rate, review, subscribe, you help to support my content and help me to keep going and bring these conversations to you each and every week. Join me next week for a new topic, new guest, new exciting conversations to help you live your best life.